The Last Biker

~or~

Grumbles from an Old Guy

Major Grumbling

     Where did you all go? What has happened to the world of bikers I knew? Why are any of you riding? Are you living an image 'cause of the brand scooter you ride? What's up with you jokers trying to look like Hells Angels? What is this wimpy little wave from the hip when passing another rider? I have more respect for the young lady I see everyday riding her 150cc scooter in the rain and cold than I do for 99% of the “Motorcyclists” (Pah~Spit~SPIT- hate that phrase) that I pass. Haughty “Hoity-Toity” riders, tough guy riders, wanna-be road racers that can't corner, factory built “low riders” tryin' to be Harley riders, full dresser tour bikes that never see the interstate, guys my age that don't know & never knew the code of the rode 'cause they weren't riding in “the day”. I wish all of you would go home and park them two wheelers so when you're old and got grand kids or great grand kids you can tell them how cool you were for riding a motorcycle. Just maybe one of them kids will pull one of your rusting heaps of a memory out of the shed and actually work on it and know what it is to be a Biker.

Still reading or you gonna wimp out?

     So who am I to come off with all this, huh? Well for the moment call me D.T. Born in '52 and started riding in 1960 if you count roto-tiller engines on bicycles.

     Graduated to chain saw engines on mini bikes and finally Jap dirt bikes. First rode a Harley (not mine) at 16, my first street bikes were English: BSA, Triumphs & Nortons. All bought as basket cases and fixed (not restored) well enough to ride. Thats how it was done and thats how you became a Biker. You knew your machine intimately cause you worked on it and if you didn't know how you had a Bro who did. Today you candy-dandies walk into a showroom and order up your goodies and pay somebody to put it on. How can you get to know your wife if you never sleep with her?

     In the 60's I bought and rode various dirt bikes. Some of these were street machines that we stripped and converted. My first big bike was an early 650cc BSA that was basically somebody else's throw away. I was still riding dirt so she became a flat tracker. Flat trackers were totally stripped including the brakes and run full out on an oval dirt track. (Later on she became my first Street Chopper.) In the early '70's I bought my first Guzzi (if you don't know what that is......) by the late '80's I had sold all my bikes. You do what you have to do, I had financial commitments and that's enough said.

Changes

     Now it's 2010 and I'm ready to get back in the saddle and can afford my first new scooter. (Yes, in the day we refered to 'em as scooters) So I start looking but I'm finding out two things I don't like. First we now have “dealerships” and “sales personel”. Look I'm in business and have been most of my life and for bikes to have become the business that they are today things had to change. No longer would the small, poorly lit, beer drinkin shops of the 50's, 60's & 70's cut it. But did we have to lose the soul? I went into a Guzzi dealership and the young dudes didn't even ride! At the XXXX dealership I got treated like “a potential sale” and couldn't get anyone to talk about bikes unless it was sales related. They knew all the right sales pitch stuff but there wasn't a Biker in the crowd and I got the same feeling at the XXXX dealer, at least they put on a better show. The customers wandering around the “Sales Floor” acted like what they thought bikers acted like while looking at the cool “Outlaw biker” gear. I got to thinking about a friend of mine who is Commanche-Apache. One time he said to me “You know D.T. I really like talking with you but you're white and sometimes I really miss talkin indian shit.” I can't talk indian shit with Bill 'cause I'm not Indian and the same goes for people who ride or sell two wheelers and can't talk bikes, you ain't Bikers.